Image: #visitguyana
In conversation with my granny in Guyana when I was about seven years old, I began to talk to her excitedly, disagreeing with her vehemently about one or other fact, as young children often do with their elders. She stopped me in mid-sentence and asked; “Since when did we go picking mangoes together Patricia?” I understood immediately that the distance between us was one that commanded respect and that perhaps she did have more experience and knowledge than my scant few years on earth. I later came to appreciate that there was much more to that short question than I had understood at the time.
I am very fortunate to have had a long line of elders who have exerted influence on me in many ways being the youngest child, grandchild, cousin, aunt and mother. This position in the family has meant that there was always someone older than I, an elder, a person with greater experience, awareness and understanding. Someone who had endured more than I had at any given time.
In all indigenous communities the elders have always earned a prominent place, respect and wisdom by virtue of their longer lives. We look to our elders for guidance when we are unsure of the path ahead, courage to do what we know is right and a sense of belonging to something bigger than ourselves at any given time. We become ourselves through living in and with the world. But it is our elders, those who have loved us unconditionally, so much so that they have pushed us forward even when they knew we would fall, because they also know that we have it within us to lift ourselves up again.
Six decades have transpired since that conversation with my granny. I too have become an elder and with it hold greater responsibility to act with integrity, to contribute, to take greater risks and to give more generously. I now have less time in which to do all this and more is at stake if I do not live a full life, as I have no second chances. This realisation has come somewhat as a surprise to me, as I had always thought of myself as the youngest, within a wide community of elders that I could seek out at any time, depending on my need.
When I retraced the footsteps of those before me to the African soil, from which they were forced to leave, I truly came to understand how much we learn from our elders and the weight of the responsibility that rests with the position. So, although I never did pick mangoes with my grandmother as she pointed out to me very sternly at that time, I am certainly grateful to her and all my elders for signalling a way forward in life. They have allowed me to take my own path knowing that they remain close, within and around me.
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If you would also like to contribute to my Kamhlaba Challenge you can check it out here…
Another member of the Waterford Kamhlaba community, who is a Governing Council Member, has also joined the Kamhlaba Challenge here…
Patricia Angoy 
This a moving reflection on what matters, and the inbuilt gifts we have in our elders. The love and wisdom so freely offered, yet valuable enough to last a lifetime.
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Thank you, Mandi, for these important thoughts – so true!
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Another interesting post. Thank you. There is so much to chew the cud over. The value of innate wisdom. The role of longevity and life experiences. Appreciation of time and then patience…..
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Thank you for reminding us all of the innateness of the wisdom of our elders.
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Pat this is lovely. I shall use the mango picking question when engaging with the various generations of my quite large clan – the question of generational respect is one that comes up often. And thanks a million for the challenge pitch. The race is a week away and the butterflies are forgetting their place in my tummy. After having done this 9 times, you’d think the buggers would know their lines by now. Much love from us in the southern tip of Africa
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I will be thinking of you as you run this very challenging race – the 87 km Comrades Marathon! I will help blow the butterflies away from afar, and I send a wish to the southern winds to blow behind you and offer you Godspeed as you complete this, your 10th. Thanks Ashley.
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Quite a reflective post on the role our elders played in our traditional societies. They used wisdom through parables and folktales to communicate in a thousand ways what we struggle to do today. I will be using your quote, Patricia. Thanks for sharing your wisdom.
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Thank you for your comment Therese and for reminding us of the parables and folktales of our youth passed down to us by our elders.
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It’s amazing how Granny’s words of wise caution come back to us when it’s our turn to shine the light on the younger generations path.
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So true Lungile! Thank you for your comment.
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Thank you Pat – I love the metaphor, a reminder of how rich the language of our elders was and how indebted we are to the em, as we now become elders! Quite a thought …
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Totally agree Suzanne. Thank you!
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Such a tender and beautifully nostalgic reflection! The imagery of picking mangoes together evokes a deep sense of connection, memory, and shared heritage. It reminds me how simple moments—like laughter under a tree—can carry lifelong meaning in relationships. Thank you for sharing something so gentle and resonant.
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Thank you for commenting and sharing your reflections with others. I do agree with you on the resonance that simple moments shared can provide us with lifelong memories
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