I have to admit that it has been very difficult for me to be hopeful this February. I have looked on at a world in chaos and turmoil where it seems that our world leaders have gone mad and insanity has overtaken.
I turn to the land, which is quiet now in the northern hemisphere, and from my small balcony in the north of Luxembourg, the countryside is still. Few birds are in the sky, the fields seemingly empty of growing plants and even the wild animals have taken shelter in the forests and woods around my home.
So instead of the land I have turned to the youngest member of my immediate family, my grandson. He has spent two weekends alone with me cooking and creating some delicious meals together. We’ve made tagliatelle from scratch, tomato sauce, sticky bread rolls, a range of salads, guacamole, almond biscuits followed by vegan lemon curd for dessert. We’ve laid the table and he tells me this is the first time he’s done so for two! Evenings came and we lit candles, stood on the balcony to feel the cold evening wind and snuggled up to watch four billion years of our universe unfold on the screen, narrated by Morgan Freeman and finally, story time before lights out.
And so I am comforted in the simple things in life that continue to bring me joy and store up memories in my little one for when his grandmother is no longer around. I do not know what the world will look like when he is my age, as I turn 68 this month. I only know what I know now, continue to learn from those who are younger than I am and look to my elders, now that I have become one, in awe that life continues. The earth continues its rotations each 24 hours, the sun continues to shine somewhere, clouds form, rain falls and the red earth of Guyana awaits me as I journey home in a few days’ time. It is a visit I have postponed for a whole generation; 30 years since I last set foot in the country that saw me take my first breath, the youngest and last of my parents’ four girl-children. I look forward to discovering myself in this “land of many waters” – the meaning of Guyana.
I will look to the female poets, novelists, artists, thinkers, creators and life-givers to find the leadership the world needs. I will also heed the words of my 8-year-old grandson when he tells me; “Don’t overthink that one Meema*!”. Briefly, I will try not to overthink the present so that I can continue to be hopeful for the future.
*Meema is my grandson’s name for his grandmother
Patricia Angoy 
Hi Meema, Gogo, my sister….never lose hope in the world we live in. Think of how you saw the world when you were your grandson’s age. Wisdom, experience, knowledge, and exposure all put together can make one fearful. The big issues were there too when you were your grandson’s age too. Today’s happenings will be tomorrow’s history and we will mourn and question how humanity could be so cruel and where were the checks and balances and voices of reason to prevent today’s wars, environmental attacks and so on. As you create wonderful spreads for the table I’m sure your next generation is learning how to respect people, the environment and the world.
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Dear Sister, you are so right and time moves on with us and our ancestors. Thank you for your always thoughtful comments.
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What wisdom Sibongile. I had not seen it from my grandson’s perspective in quite that way. How urgent it is for us to think through the solutions together. I am grateful that you are in my life to show me other ways of thinking and seeing.
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Thanks for this one, Patricia. I too am struggling to stay positive with so much cruelty, aggression and selfishness being reported daily in the news. Be strong.
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Unfortunately it continues and we have a choices. Being strong is one of them. Thanks Iain.
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Thank you Patricia, enjoyed our Georgetown ‘memory lane’ sharing. Happy our paths connected, much gratitude for cross-border friends and friendships that endure.
Wonderful reminders today that Guyanese caring and legendary hospitality is alive and well as rapids of change swirl in every corner of our world.
Your grandson’s wisdom is a welcome reflection.
Walk good, until we meet again
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Wise words, my dear Patricia. You have always been so positive. I hope you have a great trip home, find smiling faces and walk familiar paths that will take you back to your childhood. Hugs!
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My return was, indeed, full of smiles and familiarity. My childhood came flooding back and I walked the paths, now very trodden, and felt my grandson’s age at times. Memories …
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Dear Patricia, what you wrote resonated with me. I have been feeling very similar and am in utter disbelief with what is happening in the world. It is the simple pleasures; watching my boys grow up that breathe life into me when I feel deflated in other ways.
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Thank you so much for engaging with my blog and taking time out to share with me and others.
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“Do not overthink it!” It is very fascinating how children navigate the world— freely. I am inspired by the way you describe your country of birth delicately, even though you have been away for 30 years. I wonder what that is like: How you will explore those waters, and memories they hold. It is always a pleasure to read your work Patricia. In the American midwest, trees are getting green and birds are slowly constructing nests [with enormous trust that they will stick] in these trees. THE SPRING IS HERE! I love your descriptive language—it is arresting. Happiest belated birthday!
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Dearest Francisco, how lucky am I to have met you as a student of Waterford Kamhlaba? I read your poetry and we talked together about your hopes and dreams. You continue to inspire me in the work that I do. Our natural world also gives me hope and, like you, I bathe in its wonder. All the best for you today and every day.
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