When are we bold?

Image credit: Ela Bichler Muñoz

When we look back on the year; our remunerated work, the gardening we planned, the holidays we intended, the book project we said we would complete, the course we were going to sign up for, the endless list of goals, we often filter out the good bits, the aha moments, the new friendships, the ways we made others feel welcome in our homes, we are left with a sense of deflated ego – we were not enough – so now prepare to change all that. But we are here now and the invitation is to look at the ‘done list’ instead of the ‘wish list’. All those moments that make us proud, that fill us with joy, that reminded us of being alive, of living in the moment with others. 

When I asked my grandson what gift I could give him before the end of the year, he said; “I’d like an experience, Meema”. So, I thought of some of the experiences that we had shared together, just the two of us in order to prepare our end of year gift of an ‘experience’.

We cooked

He taught me how to play mini-golf

We toured the Philharmonie in Luxembourg, and he picked out an ideal seat for me

He introduced me to a 4D experience in the cinema

We took a walk around my village to find the braying donkey

We laughed, we danced, we played cards and we sang together

He decorated my Christmas tree and put up the lights on my postage stamp balcony

We felt the cold wind on our cheeks and the hot sun on our heads

We both went to the circus for the first time – no wild animals in sight!

We witnessed the milky way in all its starlit glory on his bedroom ceiling

And … we laughed some more and cried a little too.  

If there was any doubt in my mind, and I doubted many times as a young girl growing up, I have no doubt now that we belong! We all belong right here, right now, at this very moment. Even when it seems hard to make sense of the moment we are in and the immediacy of the world around us. Every child has the right to wake up everyday to a present that allows them to experience the richness of the world in peace. We, all belong. Only this will give us a tomorrow, together.  

As I write this, there still remains one more day of this year on the Gregorian calendar. Another 24 hours to add something to the ‘done list’. There is something satisfying about the end of a sentence, turning off the lights, shutting a car door for the last time, even saying goodbye to a loved one leaves who leaves you with no more than the next step away. Fortunately, we do not leave our pasts behind, we carry them within, as we do all that we have come to know, to understand and to experience with others and within ourselves. 

I have come to use a new word in my vocabulary with my young grandson. ‘Bold’. Not boldly facing the future but embodying it now. I came upon this word in preparing a meal to share with our family. 

He holds the heavy bottle of olive oil under my vigilant eye, seeking in me some guidance as to how much to pour into the warm flour. I tell him; be bold, pour the measure of oil you think will be best for our short crust pastry and let’s see what transpires. We loosely follow a recipe from our favourite cookbook ‘Veggie Licious’ by Mokgadi Itsweng, a South African chef and writer. Pour boldly. Let’s live this moment. There will be no other quite like it. We will probably make pastry together a zillion times in the future, but none will be quite like this one. As he feels the flour dough become more elastic under his small fingers, as he rolls it out and watches it spring back into form, we laugh and congratulate ourselves on the best dough we have made. We savour this moment in the now and dance together. We do so to his great grandmother’s favourite song to which he knows all the lyrics – Unforgettable by Nat King Cole. I feel my own mother, along with our ancestors watching over us, being present. 

So, as our day moves into night and then into a new year, I hope to live the present and be bold like the spider who spun her web, despite the sub-zero temperatures outside, and then left this beautiful filigree lace in its silvery frost against the evergreen tree. She was bold!

Thank you for reading my blogs. You can also subscribe.

Resources:

A Goodreads review of Veggie Licious by Mokgadi Itsweng 

https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/59829077-veggielicious

A live version of Nat King Cole singing Unforgettable